


Meteoric

by smallworu



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Asexuality Spectrum, College AU technically, M/M, Piano teacher!Kaworu, all fluff, no tears, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 09:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallworu/pseuds/smallworu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every Thursday, starting at 4:30 and lasting for an hour and a half. Once a week. You can handle it.</p><p>(Music teacher AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> me·te·or·ic  
> /mētēˈôrik/  
> adjective  
> 1.  
> Coming into existence swiftly, suddenly, and brightly, like a meteor.
> 
> [strums guitar] ive never posted a fic on ao3 before and everything is confusing  
> also please dont expect much of anything to be accurate for i am a 15 year old girl who is homeschooled and does not like doing research. i have no clue what its like to be college aged and living on your own ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> but everything is (loosely) based on my own experiences!! although im not gay 4 my piano teacher since hes like 20 years older than me and im gay
> 
> please enjoy!!!!

“You know, you should get a hobby-- maybe that would help! Hmmm… Maybe… you could learn a sport! Like soccer or--”

“Misato--”

“Wait, no, you aren’t very athletic, are you… Mmm, what about arts and crafts? Or you could pick up a book!”

“I already read _way_ too much.”

“Ah. Then, what about… Ooo, music! You could learn an instrument!

You stared in disbelief at your ‘guidance counselor’, Misato Katsuragi. Of course, that was just what she called herself-- in reality, she was just a friend and your neighbor. She acted more like she was your mother sometimes, though.

A waitress rushed by as you stared each other down. Maybe you could ask her to kick Misato out? Or at least make her stop harassing you… but you doubt that such a small restaurant would want to remove one of their most regular customers.

She took your silence as an agreement and grinned. “Yeah, you like music! Maybe you can learn to play something besides cello.”

You sighed and dragged your hand down your face. “Misatooo-saaann… I don’t need a hobby.” You whined.

Misato frowned and put her hands on her hips, making a playful show of her anger. “Yes, you do, Shinji-kun! This is the first time in _weeks_ that I’ve been able to get you to leave your apartment!” She raised an eyebrow. “Hell, you’ve spent so much time holed up in there that you’re getting pale!”

 “What?” Your eyebrows creased together. “I haven’t-- I’m not--” You glanced down at the skin of your arm self-consciously. “I’m not pale!”

Misato giggled. Your face heated up from the embarrassment.

“Hey, come on. There’s a music store that offers music lessons-- it’s just a little ways down the road from the apartment.” She smirked. “Once we get the check, let’s go and sign you up for some lessons, alright?” She waved over another waiter. “Hey, could we get our check?”

You stared at her in horror. “You…” She turned to look at you, eyebrows raised.

“Y-you planned this!” You exclaimed, pointing at her accusingly.

She just laughed and pulled out her purse. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay.”

 

*

 

You had _thought_ that yesterday was going to be easy.  Go get lunch with Misato, chat a little, convince her not to send you to a psychologist, and then go home. Continue with your life. Simple.

But, no, you get dragged to a music store and practically forced to sign up for lessons.

You figured piano would be the easiest, since you already knew a little, and it was just pressing some glorified buttons, right?

The woman running the store had signed you up for some lessons. Well, Misato had, while you looked around the shop and accepted your fate. (It was literally _filled_ with guitars, and there were a few shelves stacked with books of sheet music. You found out later that, surprisingly, yes, you could buy stuff other than guitars there.)

Every Thursday, starting at 4:30 and lasting for an hour and a half. Once a week.

 _Why_ she wanted you to start the very next day was beyond you. (Although she said it was the “only available time slot.”)

You took a deep breath to steady yourself. It was just an hour and a half! 90 minutes. You could handle it.

90 minutes with a _complete stranger._ No big deal.

(You needed to prove Misato wrong, anyway. When you had started home, she had basically called you a wimp by saying “If you don’t feel up to it, you can always drop out, you know!” right before she went into her apartment.)

But as you kept thinking about it, you felt less and less up to the task. Who knew what your teacher would be like? You hadn’t gotten any information about him other than his name and a promise that you’d like him from the cashier-- which was a little hard to believe, considering how little emotion she had said it with! You checked your watch for the god-knows-how-many-th time.

4:27.

You should probably go in, you thought. Just stop fidgeting on the bench, get up and walk in. Tell the emotionless cashier that you were there for your lesson and--

You stood up and walked toward the door as your watch ticked to 4:28 and you thought “maybe I could ditch”.

Apparently, there had been someone going toward the same door as you, and you had moved so quickly and suddenly that he had to jump back to avoid slamming into you.

But you didn’t pay any attention, except for stopping. You were too caught up in your thoughts.

No, if you ditched then your teacher would have come to the music store just to find out that his student wasn’t there.

You’d just be wasting Mr. Nagisa’s time and--

“Hey, are you okay?” A voice startled you back into reality, and a pair of vibrant red eyes came into focus-- the guy you had nearly crashed into was waving a hand in front of your face, trying to get your attention. He looked concerned.

You jumped back, eyes going wide.

He blinked, looking at you for a second before smiling nervously. He pocketed his hand quickly. “Sorry, sorry! I guess I startled you.”

You blinked slowly. “R-right… I’m sorry. Uh, I’ll just, uh…” Stepping to the side of him, you started toward the door again.

“Ah, okay, okay!” He slid to the side to allow you to enter, before following after you.

You gulped, walked into the store, and up to the counter. You fidgeted in front of the counter for a few seconds, waiting for the cashier to look up from her phone. She didn’t. You stared at her pale blue hair, hoping that she’d notice you.

Finally, you gave up on waiting. “Uh--”

“Rei? You have a customer.” He-- the guy who came in after you-- leaned on the counter and tapped on it to get the cashier’s-- Rei’s?-- attention.

“…Hmm?” She turned her phone off, and looked up with dazed eyes. They snapped onto you, and she stiffened. “…Right, sorry. What do you need?”

“U-uh… I’m here for my piano… lesson…?” You stutter out.

“…4:30?”

“…Yeah.”

She pulled out a slip of paper and started muttering under her breath as she scratched a few words down.

“…Kaworu Nagisa, piano lessons, 4:30… 90 minutes is… 3000 yen.” She slid the paper across the counter to me, and her tone of voice turned business-like. “Bring this slip of paper to me once you’re done with your lesson so you can pay.” Then she turned her attention back to her phone.

You picked the slip and stared at it. “Wai--”

“Oh, you’re my 4:30?” The guy who was still leaning against the counter, said.

You turned to face him. “Huh?”

“Shinji Ikari, right? I’m Kaworu Nagisa, and I believe I’m your piano teacher.”

*

He led you to a room a little way away from the main area of the store. It was so small that it barely fit the keyboard in lengthways, and the two stools had to be shoved into the wall to even make room for us. Carpet covered the walls, assumingly for soundproofing. The ugly kind of carpet that you’d find in a grandma’s house.

Since he was apparently your piano teacher, (and going to be stuck in a cramped room with you for an hour and a half) you looked him over again.

Yep, he still had red eyes, you hadn't imagined that. And gray-white hair, that too. He looked weird, sure, but at the least he didn’t look like he killed people for a living.

Maybe. He was really pale, and kinda looked like he spent all his time indoors.

(Not that shut-in’s were inherently murderous, because that would mean _you_ were a murderer and that wasn’t true. Obviously.)

He pulled the stools in front of the keyboard and sat down, gesturing for you to do the same. As you sat down next to him, he leaned under the piano and started to shuffle through a pile of books that you hadn’t notice before.

You just sat there. Since you couldn’t exactly stare at _him,_ you decided to focus on the black and white keys of the piano instead.

You figured that he found what he was looking for, since he sat up straight and started to flip through the book, this time.

Honestly, you were starting to get impatient. You cleared your throat. “Uh, Mr. Nagisa?”

He paused, and looked up at you. “Please, call me Kaworu. When you call me ‘Mr. Nagisa’ it makes me feel like an old man.” He chuckled a little. “And we might as well be the same age.”

You leaned back in surprise. “Wha-- Really?”

He turned his attention back to the book and hummed. “Is it the hair?”

“I-- what? What do you mean?” You wanted to smack yourself for all this stuttering you were doing.

Kaworu laughed and set the book up on the music stand. “I’ve had a lot of people get confused about my age because of it. I can see why, of course. People my age don’t usually have grey hair.”

“How old are you then?”

“25. Now,” he gestured to the sheet music. “How about I teach you how to play piano?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "hopefully i can keep up with posting this fic" i say. BASICALLY ONE WHOLE MONTH LATER.
> 
> its kind of a short chapter (╯︵╰,)

“Shinji-kun, you need to relax. Your fingers are too tense.”

…

“You seem like you have everything down, you’re just need to play it a bit more confidently.”

…

“No, wait.” He nudged your finger to the next key. “B, not C.”

…

“Ahh, that was really good! It’s coming along nicely!”

“W-wait, really?” You stuttered. “But I really screwed up measure 9!”

Kaworu smiled. “Yes, maybe-- but you absolutely _aced_ the first measure!” He clapped you on the back.

You blinked up at him owlishly. “Ah, okay… Thank you?”

He kept up his goofy, oblivious smile, even as you stared incredulously at him. Did he _really_ think you were improving or was he just being nice? He must just be lying to spare your feelings. There was just no way that you could have improved at all. This was only your fourth lesson! And you didn’t even have a keyboard at home to practice with, and--

“Now, do you want to try that again? If you want, I can play the top part. Your rhythm seems a bit off in the bass part.”

You jumped a little, straightening your back. He raised an eyebrow.

Turning bright red at the realization that he was waiting for an answer, you blurted out a “yes!”

Kaworu gave you a bemused look.

He played the first note, and you followed along with him as best as you can, stumbling at places. He stumbles once, but unlike when you did, he is far from mortified and actually laughed at himself.

Together, you play through the first page twice, until a harsh noise-- one that _wasn’t_ the result of your fingers slipping onto the wrong keys-- shocked you both into stopping.

“Was that… thunder?” You wondered aloud.

“…It must have started storming.” Kaworu said, before slowly putting his hands back on the piano’s keys. “I don’t remember hearing anything about severe storms, though. It should pass soon.” He started playing again, and you rushed to join him.

A few more minutes passed, with the booming thunder throwing off your playing every once in a while. Just as you were getting the hang of measure 9, a piercing wail cut through the air. A tornado siren?

As you and Kaworu paused in confusion, there was a knock. Rei opened the door, looking worried.

“…A severe weather warning was announced on the radio.” She frowned deeper. “It would be a bad idea to stay here.”

Kaworu hummed from behind you. “I guess this means lessons are canceled?” Rei nodded, before walking away silently.

Honestly, the cashier was still an enigma to you.

Kaworu sighed and stood up. “Well, Shinji-kun, I guess I’ll see you next week. Maybe we could have an extra long lesson to make up for the lost time?”

“Uh,” You resisted the urge to cover your ears from the shrill noise of the siren, and stood up. “I-- I guess? If it wouldn’t mess up your schedule, I mean.”

He smiled as if to say “ _of course it wouldn’t_ ”, and started to gather up his stuff. You followed suit.

You only remembered, _after_ you collected yours things and walked out of the music store and into the pouring rain, that you didn’t bring an umbrella, or a rain jacket, and all your stuff-- sheet music, mainly-- would be ruined if it got wet. And you always _walked_ home.

“…Shit.” You breathed out, standing frozen in front of the door, still safe under the dry awning. The sirens still had not stopped, acting as a reminder that you couldn’t stay there, or walk home in such horrible weather.

Thank god Kaworu noticed you standing there like an idiot, or you probably would have stayed there in that state and died in a tornado-based accident.

“You walk home, don’t you?” He said, once he got back under the awning, now dripping wet from his little trip to his car and back.

You nodded numbly.                                                                                                                                                                     

“…Do you need a ride home? It’s a little too dangerous to be walking around in this weather, I think.”

You stood motionless for a moment before your brain registered the words. Your head snapped to look at him, which got you two raised eyebrows and one mouth quirked in a bemused smile.

“…Sure…?”

He grinned and headed off to his car, gesturing for you to follow. After a moment of hesitation, you jogged after him, clutching your sheet music to your chest.

Kaworu lead you to a small car, and you rushed to the passenger side door as he unlocked the car. You bounced on your heels until you heard the tell-tale _click_ of the door. Ripping the door open, you threw yourself in the car and slammed the door after you.

Kaworu gave you an odd look as he got in, much calmer than you did.

“I-- I didn’t want to get your car wet inside.” You mumble, patting the armrest on the door to see if it was still dry.

He chuckled, and turned the car on. You fidgeted in your seat, suddenly hit by a wave of discomfort. You tried to focus on other things-- the rain drumming on the roof, the repetitive motion of the window wipers, the cold wetness of the rain soaking your clothes-- anything, really.

You’d spent approximately one day with him. You barely knew each other!

“So…” Kaworu began slowly, driving the car out of the parking lot. “Where do you live?”

You bit your lip. “Uh--!” You yelped as the sky lit up and a huge _crack_ of thunder split the air.

Kaworu frowned, peering out the windshield as the rumbling faded away. “…That sounded very close.”

“Yeah…” You said.

He clicked up the speed on the window wipers as the rain started to pour down even more intensely.

You scratched at the back of your neck. “Uhm, as I was saying… Nerv apartments. Yeah.”

Kaworu squinted for a moment, before nodding. “Ah, okay. I know where that is.”

You drove on in silence.

The storm got worse and worse, reaching the point where each bolt of lightning resonated in your bones.

Kaworu eventually sighed, and said, “This is a really bad storm, and your apartment is still a while away. I think…” He trailed off, and laughed. (Nervously?) “…I think it would be safer if we just stopped at my house until the storm passed.”

You blinked, and turned to face him. He kept his eyes on the road, but he glanced at you when you didn’t respond. His eyebrows were creased. It almost seemed like he was waiting for you to laugh at him, or something.

After much deliberation, you nodded, and then remembered that he wasn’t looking at you. “Y-yeah. Sure.”

It was just until the storm passed, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd say that i'll update sooner this time but i don't want to feel like trash salad with a side of moldy eggs, so.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [updates fic at exactly 3:35 am on a school night] rip me
> 
> warnings: alchohol use

As it turned out, the storm only got worse, even after you pulled into Kaworu’s driveway.

He parked, and you take in the tiny, one-story house. Or, what you can see of it through the downpour. It’s plain, white siding, with patches of dirt in the small front yard that you could only assume were supposed to be gardens. The only plants in them were weeds, which were being drowned in all the rain.

A flash of lightning lit up the world as you and Kaworu rushed out of the car to get to the front door. There wasn’t much coverage from the roof, so by the time he pulled his keys out and got the door unlocked, you were drenched.

You both caught your breath from the little jog you had taken, Kaworu laughing softly. “…We should dry off, I think. I’ll-- I’ll get some towels.”

You stood stiffly in the mudroom, dripping water onto the linoleum, while Kaworu went further into his house. Finally, you breathed, and your shoulders slumped. _Calm down, Ikari._

The first thing you noticed about Kaworu’s house is that there’s a lot of junk lying around. There was a bench that had a few pairs of shoes underneath it, with so many boxes and papers piled on top that, if they fell over onto you, they could probably kill you. You inched away from the bench.

Kaworu returned, bath towels in tow. He half-handed, half-tossed you one of the fluffy white towels. You started drying off your head, and judging from the towel resting on top of his silver head of hair, Kaworu had already started drying off his own.

“Go ahead and hang your coat up,” He said, gesturing to the hooks on the wall. You fruitlessly tried to shrug off your jacket while still toweling of your hair. Kaworu wordlessly walked behind you and helped you out of it. Your cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

You dragged the towel through your hair one last time, and then looked to Kaworu. “A-ah, I think I’m dry now?” You patted your hair and clothes down. You _probably_ wouldn’t get his furniture soaking wet.

He nodded, and said, “Come in, then. Make yourself at home.” You slipped your shoes off, and followed Kaworu into the main room, a kitchen/living room combo… that was also filled with junk. Off-beige walls accented with modern décor and leftover dishes on the coffee table.

You raised an eyebrow. For how neat he dressed, he really had a messy home.

“…Sorry, I wasn’t expecting company.” He says, apologetically.

Your eyebrows creased. “N-no! Uh, it’s… it’s fine-- your house looks fine!” You stuttered out.

“Relax, I’m not bothered.” Kaworu smiled. “I know very well that this is a big mess.” He moved a pile of papers off the couch and sat down, patting the seat next to him.

You sat down next to him, tapping your foot nervously. You both sat in silence for a long, uncomfortable moment, and your eyes wandered. Eventually, your gaze ended up on the end table on your side of the couch. _Is that a broken keyboard?_

You didn’t realize you had spoken aloud until Kaworu responded.

“Oh, that… yes. I was going to fix it, but I forgot it was there, honestly.” He said conversationally.

“It’s--” You poked at it. “It’s snapped in half.”

He just nodded, like it was entirely normal to try and fix a keyboard that severely damaged.

You stared at him. “…Isn’t it… too broken to be fixed?” You ask slowly.

Kaworu practically beamed. “I’m quite good at fixing things, if I do say so myself. My brother broke my piano once-- literally destroyed it-- but I got it back in working order in no time!”

“B-but it’s…” … _literally snapped in half._

“Even the most broken of things can be fixed, Shinji-kun.”

You breathed in softly, eyes widening. Your face heated up against your will, and you quickly turned away. You had felt like your heart had skipped a beat, for a second. That was-- that was a pretty normal thing to say, right? It wasn’t… it shouldn’t have affected you that much.

You shake your head to clear your mind. That was a ridiculous thought, just shut up brain, it wasn’t like this warm feeling in your chest was--

Your train of thought was suddenly derailed when Kaworu stood up and turned to you. “Do you want something to eat? It’s about dinner time.”

You blinked, and checked your watch. He was right. 6:30-- maybe a little early, but it made sense, you guess.

You nodded. Kaworu smiled and walked over to the kitchen area, pulling things out of cabinets and shuffling things around on the counter. You sat awkwardly on the couch, glancing around the room so you weren’t just staring at your host’s back.

Right, you were a guest right now. It may have been impromptu and due to the storm still raging outside, but you felt you had been a little rude up until now.

So, half out of sheer boredom, and half out of not wanting to seem like a burden, you said, “Uh, do you want any help?”

As you hovered hesitantly above the seat, Kaworu turned his head to the side to look at you. He considered it for a moment.

“Ah, if you wouldn’t mind. I don’t know about you, but I’m not that good of a cook.”

You walked over to the kitchen while he continues. “I mostly just have quick meals, but I thought that an _actual_ meal would be a good idea.”

You both make small talk as you help him as best as you can, and quickly find out that he was almost _under_ -exaggerating his cooking skills. And by that, you mean he nearly set whatever it was he was trying to make on fire, and definitely burned it. You settled for just heating up some water and making cup ramen, after the butchered job of cooking you just saw.

You were sitting back down on the couch in order to eat, when a thought struck you.

“Oh, yeah, you mentioned having a brother…?” You said.

Kaworu chuckled. “…Yes. Quite a few, actually.”

You tilt your head to the side, waiting for him to continue.

"I come from a very, ah... _big_ family." His lips quirked into an amused smile. "There are... 16 people in my immediate family, not including myself.”

You choked on your noodles. In between fits of coughing and gasping for air, you managed to sputter out a shocked “ _what_?”

Kaworu’s eyebrows creased. “C-calm down, two of that number are my parents.” He followed this with a quiet “are you okay?”

“ _You have 14 siblings?_ ”

He grew red, clearly embarrassed. "And a lot of them are at least 5 years older than me. With kids.” He paused and started counting on his fingers.

"I’m an uncle to... 8 kids? No, 7.” He laughed. "Family gatherings are big affairs, to say the least." Kaworu paused. "It certainly doesn’t help that my family likes to bring friends, either.”

You couldn’t help it, you flat out stared at him, jaw dropped and all.  He looked up at you, a clueless expression painting his face. After a long, long pause, the absurdity of this situation hits you, and you burst out laughing.

"...Shinji-kun..?" Kaworu asks, puzzled.

"S-sorry, Kaworu-kun, I- haha- I’m-!" You took a deep breath. "I’m okay, I’m okay. Sorry, it's just... Wow. You have such a big family!" Your eyebrows creased a little. It was just so ridiculous, especially when you were a single child, yourself.

Your giggles subside, and Kaworu got a thoughtful look on his face.

“Ah, that reminds me!”

“Hm?”

“I wanted to ask you, would you mind coming to a party with me?”

You jolt a little, shocked out of your reverie. “Huwhat?” You sputtered.

“One of my siblings is having a birthday party, and I… honestly don’t really like interacting with my family more than I have to. It gets… uncomfortable after a while.”  He tapped on his knees. “…I usually invite Rei to come with me, so I’m not forced to interact with them, but she’s busy then.”

A bunch of questions jumbled together in your head, preventing you from answering. _Kaworu was friends with Ayanami? Why me? Why doesn’t he just_ not _go to the party? Which sibling, out of the 14?_

“…You don’t have to come, if you don’t want to.” He said, after you sat there in silence for a good while.

That jerks you out of your confusion, long enough to blurt out the third question and immediately want your mouth surgically removed.

“Why wouldn’t you just _not_ attend?”

“…My parents consider it mandatory, unless you have other, more important plans. Or if you’re banned.” Kaworu said.

“…Banned. _Banned?_ ”

He frowned. “Some of my older siblings are a little too quick to anger.” Seeing my confusion, he clarified. “They got in an argument with one of my younger siblings and it nearly resorted to blows.”

He breathed out, slowly. “So…?”

You licked your lips, and considered.

You decided. Kaworu was your friend, and if what you thought was true, his family situation was a little tense. (You knew _plenty_ about that.)

If he needed a little help when around his family, then you would.

You nodded. You said yes.

(The storm didn’t stop until late that night, and you ended up sleeping over at Kaworu’s place.)

 

*

 

You were already nervous-- you kept fanning yourself to try and keep from sweating too much, you were twitchy, you jumped at every little noise, and you were a little itchy, honestly. You hadn’t worn any kind of formal outfit in a long time, and this was just barely dressier than your normal clothes.

You were already nervous, and you didn’t need to be arguing with your neighbor. Misato had knocked on your door just before you were going to leave, cornering you in your doorway.

“C’mon, you _need_ to go, Shin-chan!” She whined.

You groaned, and said for the umpteenth time, “No, I can’t go!”

Misato rolled her eyes. “Yeah right. You can’t stay locked up in your apartment all the time! Please, just come to lunch with me!”

“One: the last time I went out with you to lunch, you forced me into piano lessons. Two: I literally cannot go-- I have something else to do today!”

She pouted. “Cleaning doesn’t count as ‘something else’, and besides, I’ve _seen_ your apartment-- It’s immaculate.”

“Ugh, no,” You said, “I’m… going to a party… with Kaworu-kun.”

Misato’s eyes widened, and she leaned back. “’Kaworu-kun’? That’s… that’s your piano teacher, right?” Abruptly, she grinned. “Ahh, I knew that kid would be a good influence! Someone after my own heart,” She cooed.

You raised an eyebrow. “…You and Kaworu-kun are not really similar. At all.”

She hummed, and waved you off. “Well, have fun at the party with your boyfri--!”

You yelped and slammed the door in her face, turning bright red.

You heard her _humph_ from behind the door and return to her apartment.

You made a mental note to not talk to Misato about Kaworu again.

*

You and Kaworu had arranged a meeting place close to your apartment, since he was the only one with a car, and there was no way you could walk all the way to the party. He smiled when he pulled up, and you waved at him, grinning back. For all the nervousness and butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you were actually kind of excited. Parties were supposed to be fun, right?

The car ride there reminded you of the night you spent at Kaworu’s-- it had only been 2 days ago, but with the anxious thrill of the upcoming event, it had seemed like years.

You arrived “fashionably late,” as Kaworu called it. There were already quite a few people there. His family, you assumed.

Chatter filled the air. A few heads turned when you entered, but most everyone continued on with their conversations unawares.

Kaworu took a deep breath as if to steel himself, but before he could say anything, someone shouted, “Heeeeey, Kaworu!”

His head snapped in the direction of the voice, and someone even taller than Kaworu jogged over. The first thing you noticed about them was their bright blue head of hair, and androgynous appearance.

Kaworu raised an eyebrow. “Hi, Ramiel.”

‘Ramiel’ slung an arm around Kaworu’s shoulders, and peered at you.

“Who’s this? Don’t you usually bring your girlfriend wit’ya?”

Kaworu frowned. “I’ve told you this many times: Rei is not my girlfriend.” He sighed. “This is Shinji-kun. Ramiel, Shinji-kun.”

“Ah… so you got your boyfriend to come, this time?”

Kaworu jolted, and you turned tomato red.

“Ah-h, uh-!” You stutter out. Kaworu’s cheeks were dusted red as well, as he pushed Ramiel’s arm off his shoulder.

“Chill, chill! I’m just pullin’ your leg.” They paused. “Er. Legs? I’m pullin’ your legs… No, that sounds weird. Whatever.” They waved a hand and took a swig of the drink you only just then noticed them holding. Then, they walked back to the group they were talking with before.

You turned to look at Kaworu for an explanation. His eyelid twitched. “It seems they’re drinking already.” He sighed and turned to face you. “Sorry about that. They’re not… _usually_ like that.”

You frowned. You had the feeling this was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LUV THAT SCREAMING BLUE OCTAHEDRON  
> ps if you want to know what ramiel would probably look like: http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120607060746/evangelion/images/0/02/Ramiel_(Gakuen_Datenroku).png im too obsessed w/campus apocalypse also ramiel was never given any colors so i just arbitrarily decided to give them bright blue hair bc whatever [skips away and hopes the next update will be sooner]


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to thank the people who've been commenting, kudo-ing, and just reading in general, it really makes my day seeing the little notifications!!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）
> 
> warning, i really have no idea how to write drunk people oop
> 
> warnings: alchohol use

You tapped your foot against the ground and fidgeted. You weren’t sure what to do with yourself. Kaworu had moved out of the way of the entrance after the brief exchange with Ramiel, and leaned against a wall, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. You had followed him, of course. You didn’t know anyone else.

And considering how gloomy Kaworu seemed, in contrast to his normal self, you weren’t sure you _wanted_ to meet them. Restlessly, your eyes wandered over everything in the room, while avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Eventually, after staring at every piece of furniture within eyesight-- it seemed that his family had similar taste in décor, but was better at cleaning-- you focused on Kaworu. He was dressed like he usually did, only a fraction more formal. Basically, what you mean is he was wearing a tie along with his normal ensemble.

The red of the tie matched his eyes, you thought.

Kaworu noticed you admiring his outfit, and asked quietly, “What is it?”

You shook your head, and stuttered, “N-nothing.” You quickly averted your gaze, and went back to staring at the walls that you had memorized by now.

You get caught, however. You accidentally lock eyes with a certain blue-haired person, and you jump out of your skin.

_Oh god, they’re coming over here…_

Ramiel scooped up another beer out of the cooler on the floor and waltzed over. You shrunk against the wall. You never were very good with… _energetic_ people.

They shoved the drink into Kaworu’s hands, who was lost in thought again. He nearly dropped it. When he saved the beer from falling to its death, he glared at Ramiel, who just giggled about it.

“You know I don’t drink.”

“Coooommmeee oooonnn,” Ramiel whined. “Consider it your birthday gift to me!”

Kaworu raised an eyebrow. “Your birthday isn’t for another few months.”

“Consider it an early present.”

Kaworu frowned and opened his mouth like he was about to retort, but Ramiel cut him off…

By turning to you. You froze like a deer caught in headlights.

“He might be less of a prude when he’s drunk.” They ‘whispered’, winking at you.  You blinked, before their meaning hits you. It looked like it hit Kaworu at the same time, because he blushed in sync with you. While you overheated, Kaworu got an almost offended look on his face and seemed about ready to smack Ramiel.

They took that as their cue to get out of there. Smiling mischievously, Ramiel said, “Heeeeey, hey, relax. M’just trying to make things more fun.” They spun around and walked back to where they were before, but not before reminding Kaworu to drink his beer and making an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture.

Kaworu sighed wearily and rubbed at his forehead.

You stared at the floor.

The crack of a lid snapped your attention back up to Kaworu.

He snapped open the beer, glared at it, and then took a sip.

“Y-you-- you’re drinking it?”

Sighing, he said, “Ramiel would never get off my back otherwise. As much as I don’t like it, it’s less trouble to just comply.” He took another sip and grimaced.

You watched him drink it slowly, before you looked back at the floor. “Sorry,” You muttered.

Kaworu hummed. “It’s not your fault. They would’ve come over eventually…”

You both sat in silence.

Kaworu didn’t like his family much, you thought. Maybe… if you ever got closer, you would ask him about it.

*

Other members of Kaworu’s family stopped by to talk to you from time to time. You felt like you had introduced yourself 100 times by now. _Hi, I’m Shinji. Nice to meet you. Kaworu is my piano teacher, that’s how I know him._

The more you got to know his other siblings, the more you learned that Ramiel was a bit of an oddball. While Ramiel was non-binary and atheist, the rest of the family was Catholic. Or, their parents and a good number of their siblings were. You were almost afraid to ask what they thought of them.

Ramiel didn’t come over again, seemingly satisfied that Kaworu was drinking the beer.

Another thing you learned about Kaworu’s family was that they were almost all lightweight drinkers. You were too nervous to drink in such an unfamiliar setting, so you had a front-row seat to everyone slowly getting drunker and drunker…

Everyone, including Kaworu.

At first, you didn’t notice it. You missed one of his siblings passing him another beer during introductions, and you missed him cracking it open and starting to drink that, too. You missed the third, and the fourth.

You didn’t notice until his normally elegant speech started to slur. Shortly after, he ditched you, leaving you to sit awkwardly on the couch as Kaworu milled around, talking enthusiastically to everyone he avoided the plague earlier. _I thought_ I _was supposed to be keeping_ him _from being uncomfortable by himself,_ you thought wryly.

After several minutes of staring at him, waiting for him to help you out-- he didn’t-- you just pulled out your phone and played games to try and kill your boredom.

You passed a few hours doing this, glancing at the power level worriedly. It was close to red and it was only 8 pm. If the power went out, you’d go back to being uncomfortable and bored. _Maybe if it died I could just find Kaworu and have him drive me home? Wait, no, he was drunk as shit right now, wasn’t he… you would have to drive,_ you mused.

Your eyebrows furrowed as a particularly challenging puzzle popped up on the screen. You began to move a piece experimentally.

_Oh god, someone just wrapped their arm around my shoulder._

You froze.

Someone had sat beside you, yes you had noticed that, you had felt the couch dip, but multiple people had done that and you didn’t think that this one was any different-- You were torn between ignoring them, hoping they got the message, or following a friend’s advice and clocking whoever this was. You decided against the second one; you weren’t nearly brave enough.

Instead you just turned to look at them, hoping you didn’t look as afraid as you felt.

 …One of Kaworu’s sisters.

…Leliel, you think her name was? You hadn’t had the chance to talk to her very much, only really learned her name. She stared at you intensely, and up close you noticed that her eyes were bright red like Kaworu’s. You couldn’t tell if she was drunk or not…

And it hit you that, right, someone who had the same kind of elegant beauty that Kaworu had was basically pressing herself up against you and you felt your face light up like a traffic light-- bright crimson and screaming for her to stop.

Leliel was apparently one of those people who ran red lights.

She leaned toward you while the warning bells where pounding in your head and sirens where screaming in your ears and you didn’t have time to think much less react--

The part of you that didn’t want to cause a scene and the part that didn’t want to be involved in this situation were both roaring to be acted upon (or, in the case of the first, _not_ wanting action.)

Thankfully (?), you didn’t have to antagonize about it for long. A firm, _familiar_ hand grabbed your jaw and turned your face away from the impending kiss-- but into another one.

If your eyes hadn’t already been as wide as physically possible, they would have gotten wider.

You officially had no idea what was going on.

Okay, technically you did-- one of Kaworu’s sibling’s was drunk as shit and tried to kiss you, and apparently an equally drunk as shit Kaworu had decided that kissing you was a good response to this. You also knew that Kaworu was a pretty good kisser and why were you thinking this-- it felt like the entire world was spinning out of control.

(You’re pretty sure you blacked out for a second.)

*

You weren’t all that sure what had happened-- you had a temporary lapse in memory and all you remember was Leliel and Kaworu arguing about something as you sat around dazed from the kiss and overall chaos.

Kaworu had dragged you out of the party, and you managed to get your brain in order enough to stop Kaworu from driving in his state. It took you a while, but you figured out his car and got you both home in one piece.

Once you parked the car, you realized you had no idea what to do. Kaworu had fallen asleep halfway home, and even if he hadn’t, he was still too drunk to drive anywhere. There was no way you were _walking_ home at this hour, but you couldn’t just take Kaworu’s car home. You had a choice between staying at his house, or basically stealing his car so you could get back to your apartment.

You sighed. “Guess I’m staying here…” You muttered to yourself, and turned to look at Kaworu.

“Kaworu-kun?” You nudged his shoulder. Yep, out cold. “I’m… I’m going to have to carry you inside, aren’t I.”

Rubbing your forehead, you stepped out of the car and over to the passenger side. Did you even have the upper arm strength to carry him anywhere?

But you couldn’t really just leave him sitting in the car, either. You steeled yourself, opened the door, and did your best to scoop him up, grunting as you did.

(He wasn’t _that_ heavy, you just didn’t have the muscle.)

You managed to get Kaworu to the doorway, before your arms started to really ache. You set him down so he leaned against the wall, and sat down yourself, groaning.

After you caught your breath, you stood up to open the door. Maybe you could just drag him inside?

The doorknob rattled as you fruitlessly tried to turn it. Locked.

“Okay, okay, keys…” You checked the car, but didn’t find them anywhere. There weren’t any other keys with the ones for the car, so the only other place was… on Kaworu himself. “Oh, Jesus, the universe is just _trying_ to make his neighbors call the cops, isn’t it?”

You already had to drag what might as well be a dead body into his house, and now you had to pat him down for his keys. You drug a hand down your face and wondered why the world hated you so much, before just getting it over with.

Your face heated up against your will as you stuck your hands into his pockets, and you batted off memories of the party.

 _Oh, thank god,_ You thought as you fished the keys out of his left front pocket. If you had had to check his back pockets you would’ve just sat on the porch all night. You unlocked and opened the door, then turned to Kaworu and lugged him inside.

This time you managed to get him inside about to the couch, before falling down again. You let out a puff of air, and scratched your head. This was difficult.

Kaworu stirred this time, but barely. _At least he’s alive,_ you thought. He shifted his weight and breathed out a wispy sigh.

“Okay,” you sighed, and stood up. You’d just stick him in his bed and… figure out what to do from there. “Okay, okay…” You repeated to yourself. You could do this.

Groaning, you lifted him up like you did before, and went to where you remembered his room was. Kaworu had pointed it out when you slept over, as he gave you a ‘tour’ of his home.

You quickly located his bed-- it was the only thing entirely clear of junk, and there was even a little trail leading up to it. You chuckled and shook your head, and carefully stepped around the boxes on the floor.

You more-or-less tossed him on his bed, and your shoulders sagged in relief. You stood idly, for a while, but Kaworu shifted, curling up like a cat, and snapped you out of your stupor.

You blinked, and rubbed your eyes. Seeing Kaworu sleeping so deeply was making you tired as well, and you yawned. _Right, right, focus. What now?_

Your plan of action was to just… sleep on the couch like you did before. You left Kaworu’s room, but as you were walking past the kitchen on the way to the couch, a thought occurred to you-- Kaworu probably wouldn’t be feeling all too well in the morning, with how much he ended up drinking.

You ended up digging through his fridge, looking for a water bottle. It wouldn’t be cold in the morning, but it was better than nothing. Kaworu had woken up before you when you slept over, so there was no way you could get it to him when he woke up.

When you went back to his room and set the water on his nightstand, you realized you had just… plopped Kaworu on top of his blankets. He might get cold. Or something.

You blushed as you pulled his blanket over him-- you were tucking in a guy in his mid-twenties. How embarrassing.

Kaworu shifted, grabbing at the blankets in his sleep, and mumbling something.

“Good night, Kaworu-kun,” you said-- _just to add to how mortified and mom-like I feel right now,_ you thought. Then, you closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also can anyone explain why the first chapters end note keep popping up on the other chapters?? and why its not even /on/ the first chapter???? unless its just me whos seeing it..


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i always update/post things in the wee morning hours
> 
> also yes the pov does switch to kaworu's for the rest of the chapter this will probably not happen again. it was a one time thing bc it wouldnt..... really work from shinjis perspective....?

_“Okay, Shinjidiot, why haven’t you been answering my calls?”_

You winced, and held your phone a little farther from your ear, when her voice burst through the speakers. You hadn’t heard from her in a few months, but she didn’t really seem to have changed. “Hi, Asuka.”

_“Seriously, why haven’t you answered my calls? I left, like, five voicemails over the weekend._ ” She asked again.

“Uh,” You paused, biting your lip. “I was… busy.” You’d been avoiding the phone and you must’ve missed her messages. “Sorry..?”

“ _You’d better be.”_

“Well, anyway, what are you calling about? I can’t talk long, I have lessons.” You were running late already. _I haven’t even gotten ready yet,_ you thought as you ran a hand through your hair, smoothing it out, and checked that your teeth were still clean in the mirror. “And I can’t really skip again.”

“ _’Again’?_ ”Asuka asked incredulously. “ _Meaning you skipped ‘before’? What lessons were you even skipping?_ ”

“Oh, uh. That’s, uh… kinda a long story.” You said.

“ _Tell me the short version, then.”_

“Well, my neighbor made me get piano lessons and I have said lessons today.”

She laughed. “ _Well, it was about time_ someone _got you off your ass.”_ She paused. “ _Wait, you said you skipped..?_ ”        

“Well, uh… I… kinda skipped the last lesson for stupid reasons.”

Aforementioned ‘stupid reasons’ being embarrassment. After Kaworu had taken you home in the morning (he had been just as hungover as you predicted) you had a _really_ delayed reaction.

Practically everyone you knew and 15+ strangers thought had you were dating. Even Kaworu himself seemed to think that, for a bit! It reached the point that, when Thursday rolled around again, you were so flustered that you couldn’t handle the _thought_ of being in that tight practice space with him.

Asuka sighed, irritated, and you snapped out of your daze.  “ _Are you listening to me?”_

“Sorry, I spaced out.”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Your childhood friend groaned. _“Well, whatever, your lessons don’t matter to me. Besides, you said you need to go, so I’ll make it quick.”_

Your eyes widened. _Shit, I still need to get ready!_ Now back to rushing, you dug through your drawers for something other than your pajama shirt. You tried to pull the shirt on while still listening to Asuka, failing miserably.

“ _Other than those lessons you mentioned, you haven’t really been out at all this summer, right?_ ”

“Uh,” You grunted as you got the shirt on, miraculously. “…Not really?”

She chuckled. “ _Haha, you must be_ so _pale._ ”

You rolled your eyes, and adjusted your shirt.

“ _So, here’s my pitch--_ ” Asuka paused for dramatic effect. “ _We hit up whatever beach is closest to you, and get you some UV rays._ ”

“Wha--” You stopped in the middle of grabbing your credit card to stare at your phone. “Okay, there are so many issues with that that I don’t even kno--”

“ _Hey, I’m being generous!_ ” She crowed. “ _I_ could’ve _made you come all the way to me but no, I’m visiting you.”_

You groaned. “Look, I don’t have the time to argue with you right now, but I’m just gonna say right now that this is not over--” There was a knock at the door. You raised an eyebrow. “And… I’m gonna have to call you back… I think.”

“ _Haha! So you surrender! Get your floaties reading, idi-_ -” You cut off Asuka’s gloating by hanging up. You could practically hear her fuming, once she saw the call ended. You smiled a little at the thought.

The knock sounded again, this time sounding a little impatient.

You sighed, and shook the smile off your face, before walking to the door and opening it.

*

You glanced at your watch. Another minute ticked by, and the clock face showed _4:56._

You looked up from your seat in one of the rolling chairs behind the front desk, looking at Rei questioningly.

“Nagisa-kun,” she says quietly, “For the last time, he has not called. I do not think he is coming.” The slight irritation showing through her voice made you sigh.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…” _worried._

Shinji had skipped the last lesson, for reasons you didn’t know. You could only theorize, really.

Most of the night of the party had been a blur to you, from the moment you finished the first beer ‘til you woke up. You could only guess you had done something wrong during that time gap, otherwise he wouldn’t have seemed so… weirded out.

Maybe you overreacted, when he hadn’t shown up to lessons next week. You had called him one time too many, more specifically, 11 times, until he finally picked up the phone. That was probably creepy.

You sighed, and scratched your neck. You didn’t want to strain things more than they possibly were, but you were concerned. When you had called Shinji, you had asked him to at least call Rei, if he wasn’t going to make it to his lesson. And you didn’t think he would just ignore that.

You spun around once, twice in your chair, until you felt dizzy, and groaned. You couldn’t just wait around!

Standing up, you turned to Rei. “I’m going to go, Rei. It doesn’t look like he’s coming.”

She spared you a glance, before looking back at her phone, which she was playing games on to pass the time. “…Okay.”

You didn’t have any other lessons that day, so you just gathered up your bag and booked it to the car.

Once you got in, however, you weren’t sure what to do: just go home, but spend the rest of the day worrying, or visit his apartment and risk your relationship?

It was unlikely that he would answer his phone-- you’d tried calling him other times this week just to chat, but he hadn’t answered.

You tap a little rhythm on your car’s wheel, indecisive.

You decide to throw caution to the wind, and start up your car. You were going to Shinji’s apartment complex, and you could only pray that you didn’t mess this up.

When you got there, you stared up at the towering building, and gulped. You almost changed your mind them and there-- the brick complex with the words ‘NERV APARTMENTS’ plastered against the side was too ominous.

You parked, and entered the lobby. It took you a moment to recall what Shinji’s apartment number was, but the memory of walking him too his apartment (something you had done in your tired, hungover haze,) resurfaced soon enough.

One short elevator ride and walk later, you were standing in front of his door, trying to build up the courage to knock. Steeling yourself, you knocked, and the door simply swung open from the gentle tap of your knuckles.

Eyebrows creasing, you entered. “…Shinji-kun..?”

The first thing you noticed was how immaculate everything was. Compared to your own house, everything looked brand new. But this fact was overshadowed by the nervousness slowly bubbling in your stomach, making you twist knots in the hem of your shirt.

You entered cautiously, calling his name gently a few more times.

You reached what you guess was the living room of the small apartment, and saw him.

At first, you were glad-- at least this proved he hadn’t been kidnapped or something-- but he was hunched over, his head in his hands.

“Shinji-kun…?” You walked closer, echoing yourself. “Ah…” _He doesn’t seem to notice me._

You called his name a few more times, but slowly trailed off. You muttered it one last time, and his head whipped up so fast that you had to stop yourself from jumping.

“K-Kaworu-kun!” Shinji said, while you held your hand against your heart, trying to calm down.

You held each other’s gazes for a long moment, your red staring into his grey-blue, and then you noticed that his eyes seem scared. Your eyebrows creased.

“Are… are you okay..?” You asked slowly.

His eyes stayed locked on yours for a second longer before he dropped his eyes to his lap and sighed dejectedly. “…N-not… really…” His breath hitched and he ran a hand through his hair. “I… I’m fucking dead.”

You blinked in shock at his hopeless statement, and repeated the last word in quiet confusion.

Shinji continued, and what you could see of his eyes glazed over with a film of tears.  “My-- my Dad just… came over… He said my Mom is in the hospital and--” He choked. “And that’s-- he, he said they don’t have enough money to pay for the hospital bills _and_ my living expenses, so-- so I’m on my own unless I move back in with him and there is _no way_ I’m doing that and it’s just--!” A tear trickled down his cheek, and he curled further into himself, leaving you standing there with no idea what to do. “I don’t know what to do! I don’t have a job, I don’t have any savings, that credit card was the only thing I have to live off of and-- and my Mom c-could die and I just-- I just _don’t know what to **do!**_ ” He cried out the last sentence, finally bending into a ball.

You stared at Shinji, wide-eyed and at a loss for words. There’s a thick silence, leaving you entirely still, except when your heart jerked at every little sobbing noise that he made.

“You…” Your mind reeled from this bombardment of information. “You don’t… have somewhere to stay..?” You asked, slowly, quietly, simply.

You thought he nodded, just barely.

“You… need somewhere to stay…” Finally, your common sense (or maybe _lack of it_ ,) kicked in. “I…” You crouched down, trying to get at his eye level, and nudged his shoulder in an effort to get him to meet your eyes. “I think… you could live with me? If… you need to…” You said, once you had his attention.

He stared at you, with his eyes shining. “You-- you’re… offering me a place to stay?” He asked, almost like he was afraid that the offer would disappear if he acknowledged it.

You nodded, not sparing a second for the nagging feeling that you shouldn’t so readily offer someone to stay with you. “Of course,” you said, and smiled softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im making you guys a promise right now: this will be probably the saddest chapter in this story and the rest will be happy!! no worries ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am super super super sorry that this took nearly a month to post i feel rly bad (;;;　ﾟдﾟ) i dont really have any excuses, sorry!!
> 
> hopefully the fact that its super fluffy makes up for it..?

Nervously, you tapped your feet. The past few hours had gone surprisingly fast-- you had packed your person effects into Kaworu’s car and cut short your lease on your (well, not yours _anymore,_ ) apartment, and gotten everything ready for you to move out-- it had all happened so quickly, it was disorienting.

Currently, you were waiting outside Misato’s door, while Kaworu was waiting by his car. You’d thought the very last minute that maybe you should tell someone other than the landlord that you were moving out impromptu. Your former neighbor made the most sense.

When she finally opened the door, you made it quick-- you blabbered out a vague explanation about your situation and how you were going to stay at Kaworu’s until you could get back on your feet, leaving no room for her to interject. After staring at you in confusion for a long moment, she nodded.

“O-okay, well, uh, bye!” You stammered, and turned on your heel for the stairs, before she could react.

Kaworu looked surprised when you rushed out of the building. He must have been expecting you to take longer. _Honestly, I was expecting it to take longer, as well._

After a pause, he smiled. “Are you ready to go?”

You breathed in, trying to steady yourself and slow down your heartbeat. “…Y-yeah.”

You both got into his car, and you thought, _I have never once had a comfortable ride in this car._ You found yourself flinching at every little noise, like Kaworu was going to kick you out of the car any second. It was just too weird-- too _nice._

And you realized that you hadn’t even thanked him yet.

“U-uh,” you couldn’t even meet his eyes. “Thank you? I-- I mean… for. For doing this. Yeah.” You frowned, mentally berating yourself for stuttering, and glanced back at him for a split second before averting your eyes again. “…Thanks. I hope I don’t… inconvenience you…”

_God, just shut up._

Kaworu chuckled, and said, “It’s no problem. Anyone would do the same, I’d think.”

You forced yourself to look him in the eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity, but found none. He kept his gaze focused on the road, but he was absolutely genuine.

You found yourself relaxing at the sight of his smile. He noticed you staring at him after a while-- something you hadn’t even noticed yourself-- and grinned, causing you to blush and look out the window.

You both lapsed into a comfortable silence, and you spent the rest of the car ride staring at the scenery rolling by.

It surprised you, how composed you were now.  You had a breakdown barely a few hours ago-- and even with a place to stay, the situation was far from alright. By all means, you should still be freaking out.

Kaworu’s house slowly came into view, and you were still relaxed. You just sighed, and pushed the thought out of your mind. You were calm. That was a good thing! Why question it?

You unpacked, you carried your things inside, you sat awkwardly on the couch staring at your pile of personal effects, a small mountain among the other things heaped up in Kaworu’s house. You waited for Kaworu to finish whatever he was doing in the one other room you hadn’t been in.

Eventually, he emerged from the room, and sighed. “Okay, that room is messier than I remembered it being.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

(You hadn’t really been told much of anything.)

Kaworu averted his eyes, and laughed nervously. “I was going to clean up the spare bedroom so that you would have somewhere to sleep but… I miscalculated how much work it would take.”

Oh. Right, somewhere to sleep. You’d been thinking something closer to just sleeping on the couch, until you could get back on your feet again. _I should probably start thinking of a plan for that, huh…_ You thought idly.

Kaworu seemed to think for a moment, before sighing. “Well… there’s no sense in worrying about that right now.” He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. “It’s only 7 o’clock. Do you want something to eat? We can worry about sleeping arrangements afterwards.”

“Uh… sure.” You said slowly.

He walked into the kitchen, and pulled a few things out of the cupboard, while you remembered the last time he tried to cook something. You were about to stand up and help him, before you saw that it was just cup ramen.

A few minutes passed, and then Kaworu sat next to you on the couch, passing you a cup. You stewed over what you were going to do while sipping on the broth.

First things first, you would need a job, one that you could live off of… That would probably be difficult-- you had never had anything other than a part-time job. You had next to no experience.

Your eyes wandered to your companion, who ate in silence. You didn’t want to burden Kaworu for very long, so you’d have to get your own place as well. Which meant finding an inexpensive place to live-- that left NERV out of the question.

Quietly, you groaned, and ditched the train of thought. For now, you’d take a page out of Kaworu’s book and worry about it later.

You hoped you’d have more time to put it off than he did, though. Where you would sleep was gradually becoming your main concern. With every spoonful of steaming ramen, your eyelids drooped more and more.

Feeling full, you put the cup on the coffee table and sank into the couch.

“Ah… so you’re tired too…” Kaworu mumbled.

You blinked away the sleepiness for a moment-- you had nearly forgotten he was there, in the silence.

Rubbing at your left eye, you nodded, and made a small sound of agreement.

You didn’t remember falling asleep.

*

When you woke up, there was an uncomfortable crick in your neck and a puddle under your cheek. You grimaced at not only the uncomfortable position, but the knowledge that you had drooled in your sleep.

Slowly, your memory pieced itself together. Your father had cut you off, and you lost your apartment, and… you were sleeping on Kaworu’s couch. _Some mess I’ve gotten into, huh._

You shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position then the one you were in now. There was… something restricting your movement, so you could only roll forward so your head wasn’t at such an awkward angle, and you cracked your eyes open for the first time that morning.

Pale sunlight streamed through the blinds, highlighting the dust motes floating around the air, and illuminating a square patch of carpet. Your eyes squinted, not so much from the light, but from the yawn that squeezed them shut.

In your most delayed reaction to date, you realized that some kind of leg boa constrictor wasn’t a normal thing to wake up to. You still couldn’t muster the energy to move very quickly. You sat up, dragging your limbs into motion, and stared blankly at… Kaworu.

Kaworu was… hugging your leg.

This eventually sunk into your sleep-addled mind, and your eyes widened.

“What…” You muttered, poking his arm. Nope, that was definitely real. You weren’t dreaming.

He huffed in his sleep when you touched him.

 _Huh… He must’ve fallen asleep on the couch like I did._ You figured to yourself, and decided it was a better hypothesis than any.

You gaped at him for a good long time, at your host, or friend, or _whatever,_ cuddling your leg, and a blush slowly spread across your cheeks.

You tried to squirm out of his grip without waking him up, which was difficult, since you were still groggy and stiff from sleeping on an uncomfortable couch. When you finally escaped, all you could do was flop onto the floor.

Groaning, you glared at the ceiling. _Some mess, indeed._

After 15 minutes of staring, (in your boredom, you had counted) you felt awake enough to stand up. You massaged your aching neck and walked over to the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

Kaworu was still passed out on the couch, meaning you succeeded in not waking him up, at least. Even though you were still embarrassed, you chuckled at the position he was in-- his gangly legs were half off the couch, sticking in weird angles that couldn’t have been comfortable. It was a miracle he wasn’t awake just from that. He seemed to be slowly sliding off the arm of the couch though, now that you weren’t occupying the other half of the couch.

As much as it amused you, you eventually focused on other things. Not your current situation-- you were still trying to push that out of your mind, and worry about it later-- no, you noticed that the dishes were still on the coffee table.

‘Dishes’ in the loose sense of the word. It was only two Styrofoam cups. You scooped them up, and set to locating a trash can in Kaworu’s kitchen.

You made quick work of that, but during your search you had found a teapot. You tossed the cups away, and wondered if it would be alright…

Nodding to yourself, you pulled in out of the pot. Kaworu couldn’t get mad at you for making tea, right?

At least, that’s what you though until you found that the only tea he had was those individual packages… _Revision: Kaworu couldn’t get mad at me for making hot water that could be used to make tea, right?_

You set the pot to heat up some water anyway, and were busy trying to find some mugs when there was a thump and a grunt.

Your head snapped over to the couch, which was now empty. Kaworu had fallen off the couch. You giggled.

He groaned, out of sight behind the table, and said groggily, “…That… was unpleasant.”

 “Good morning, sunshine.” You said teasingly, and laughed.

Kaworu sat up, turning his head to face you in a way that might’ve been menacing if it weren’t for the fact that his eyes were still glued shut.

He grumbled something too quietly to hear and just… laid back down. On the floor.

The squeal from the tea pot alerted you to the water being ready. You quickly found the mugs and made the tea.

You brought the tea to the table-- carefully so you didn’t spill-- and set one on it, taking yours and sitting on the couch. Kaworu was still lying on the carpet, one arm covering his eyes.

Gently, you nudged him with your foot. “Come on, wake up. I made tea.”

He only grunted in reply. You nudged him more incessantly and set your cup on the table, to poke him with your fingers too.

“..I just wanna sleep…”

You may have jabbed him a little too hard this time. He rolled closer to the coffee table to evade you ‘attack’, but soon smacked into its legs. You grinned. He was caught between a rock and a hard place, now.

Or, your foot and table. Whatever.

You poked him everywhere you could, mainly his defenseless back. Kaworu jumped and tried to squirm away, eventually wiggling out of range.

He laid there for a heartbeat, before groaning. He was awake.

You giggled.

“Ugh, fine.” He resigned, sitting up. He stared into space for a long time, obviously still sleepy. You couldn’t tell if his silver hair was messy because of the struggle or just sleeping on the couch. You yourself were spacing out when he said, “Tea… You said there was tea. You made tea?”

You blinked in shock, and nodded. Then, you grabbed the other mug and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

*

You both spent the morning slowly waking up, while drinking the tea and making small talk.

It was around noon when Kaworu finally touched the subject of getting you situated.

“Hey, I need to show you something.” He said, standing up, and setting his empty mug on the table.

You stood up and followed him when he walked to the room he had been in last night. Vaguely you remembered him saying something about it taking ‘too much work’ to clean… You braced yourself for the worst.

The spare room wasn’t as horrible as you were expecting, but it also wasn’t anywhere near an average amount of messy.

The bed and dressers seemed to be the center of the mess-- every available flat surface had boxes and papers and... you’re pretty sure that was a bag of rocks. Clutter seemed to be a fact of life for Kaworu.

You had really picked the messiest person in your small circle of friends. Not that you’d really _picked,_ per se.

“Well, uh, what do you think?” Kaworu asked, tapping his fingers together.

You turned to look at him, hoping that your face showed just how truly ridiculous that was, hoping that it showed how done you were.

“Eheh, yeah, I figured as much.”

You sighed. “Anyway, why did you want to show me this?”

He averted his eyes. “Well… this is your… room…”

Oh. _Oh._ “…You want me to clean it myself, don’t you..?” You said slowly.

Kaworu’s eyes snapped right back to you and he waved his hands in front of him. “Not by yourself! I’ll help, of course!” He smiled ruefully. “…It’s my fault it’s in this state anyway…”

Heaving another sigh, you ran a hand through your hair. “Fine, whatever. It makes sense anyway.”

You knelt next to the pile that looked like it would be the least difficult to sort out-- a pile of books. “…I don’t know where any of this goes.”

Your friend leaned over to see what you were talking about. “Oh, that…” He contemplated it for a while. “That could go…” Picking up what he could of the stack, he walked out of the room.

“W-wait!” You stuttered, grabbing the rest of the stack and following him.

Kaworu had gone to his room, and was in the process of putting the books on a shelf.

“Ah, thank you,” he said, when you placed your pile next to his.

You rocked on your heels while he put the books away one by one. You couldn’t do much in the room, and you didn’t know how to sort the booked here… all you could do was wait.

A thicker book caught your eye, once the books above it were removed. “Hey, is that...” You reached out, pulling it off the stack, squinting at the cover.

Without thinking, you opened it. A cloud of dust burst into the air as you flipped through the pages.

Kaworu had noticed this and stopped to look at you.

Your nose twitched, and you sneezed.

You ended up dropping the book from the force of your sneeze, which sent another cloud of dust into the air.

Kaworu’s giggles interspersed with your sneezes, and you shot a glare at him once you got your sinuses under control.

His eyes crinkled at the corners and he covered his grin. “I- I’m sorry, you just sounded very cute.” He chuckled again. “Like a puppy sneezing.”

Your face heated up, and you stared at him. Quickly, you hid your embarrassment by ducking down and retrieving the book.

You pushed it into his chest when you found he was still laughing. This sent one last puff of dust, this time into _his_ face.

He sneezed, and you smirked. “Who’s cute now--” Your eyes widened when realized what you just said, and your blush returned full force.

Kaworu just blinked in surprise, his cheeks turning rosy.

“Uh-uhm, let’s just keep putting the books away,” Hastily, you grabbed the thick book out of Kaworu’s grip, trying to ignore how your hands brushed together. “Does it matter where they go? I’m just going to put them wherever, okay--”

“--Oh… yeah, y-yes.” He responded, nodding fervently, and began assisting you in putting the books away.

Once the books were handled, you both returned to the room-- _your_ room-- and cleaned it up as best as you could. It was livable, at least.

You tried your hardest to avoid any more dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH YEA AND, the next chapter should be up much sooner! its already mostly finished (i wrote the 2 main scenes ahead of times whoopsie)  
> heck i might end up finishing it tonight thats how done it is ehehe


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i say id post this soon or did i say id post this soon?
> 
> also brace yourself for an honestly kind of ridiculous amount of references to the original

It had been a week since you moved in with Kaworu, and you could say you had adjusted well. Once your room was inhabitable, you’d settled into a schedule-- wake up, eat breakfast with Kaworu, before he left for work, then spend the day trying to find a way to support yourself.

Of course, some days he was home all day. Today was one of the days.

“Ah, Kaworu-kun, you’re up early…” You said, upon entering the kitchen. Kaworu was leaning against the counter, looking groggy, holding a steaming mug of tea. He blinked slowly, and turned his gaze onto you.

“... G’mornin’…” He slurred out. At the pace of a snail, he lifted his mug to his lips and took a sip.

(Sometimes you doubted how well adjusted you were, however.)

You tried not to stare at him as he licked his lips, lowered his tea and scratched at his head. You looked away with a blush, trying to reason to yourself that it was confusion, not… _something_ else that had you enraptured with his silver bedhead.

(Like when you caught yourself staring.)

You were confused at the fact that he looked so tired, the bags under his eyes and his usually-put-together appearance being so haphazard now.

You made your breakfast, and found yourself making small talk.

“Did you sleep well?” You half-asked, although you could guess the answer.

Kaworu made a sound halfway between a groan and a hum, after a beat of silence. “Not really.”

You turned around to respond, and found him trudging out of the kitchen. The toaster dinged and you snatched up your breakfast, so you could follow him.

He plopped down onto the sofa, and after a moment of hesitation, you sit next to him.

You munched on your toast cautiously, glancing at him occasionally. He sipped his tea in silence.

Eventually, you spoke up. “Hey, uh, Kaworu-kun…”

He looked up at you questioningly.

“Er, why… why do you seem so tired right now?” You said.

Kaworu stared blankly at you for a second, as if processing your words.

“…Oh, I’m usually this tired. I’ve been having unusually good sleep the past week.”

You blinked, and realized that the bags under his eyes had always been there. It made sense, you thought. But, still… “You don’t… usually sleep well? …Why?” You inquired.

He pulled his legs up onto the couch, curling around his mug of tea. “Ah, that’s…” Kaworu trailed off and took a sip. “…That’s because I have nightmares.”

“…Nightmares…?” You said, staring at him curiously.

He chuckled softly. “Yeah…” He rubbed at his tired eyes, the pretty, pale, faintly freckled skin underneath them marred by the dark circles.

There’s a lull in the conversation as Kaworu silently drank his tea and you studied his face.

Eventually, you said, “If you don’t mind me asking… What are your nightmares about?”

He blinked, and his red eyes turned to look at you curiously.

You blush, and avert your eyes.

“…I don’t mind you asking. But… they’re a little…” Kaworu seemed to think about it for a second, before settling on “…odd.”

You wait for him to continue.

“They’re terrifying, honestly, but… they don’t even make sense.” He took a deep breath. “I dream about my own death, most of the time. It’s always different, and sometimes they just don’t make sense.” He smiled, but he was still tense. “It’s very, very odd sometimes. I mean, giant robots? It’s--” Kaworu laughed. “It’s weird. But… the dreams still terrify me. Even after I wake up.”

You frowned. “Isn’t that, like-- I dunno, something you should go to a psychologist about or-- or whatever?”

“Trust me, I’ve tried. They can’t find anything wrong with me, per say. Everything they’ve tried didn’t work. The only thing that ever did work was, well--” He cut himself off and cleared his throat. Wait…

Was he blushing?

Kaworu ran a hand through his mussed up hair and cleared his throat a second time. “Well, ah… You. The only thing that has ever helped me sleep is you.”

He curled up further and gulped down his tea, effectively hiding his face, while you turned firetruck red.

After a long, long pause, Kaworu spoke up:

“So, let me ask you a question, now.” He turned to face you. “How? How do you calm me down like that?”

You had no idea how to answer that. You were hardly calm yourself! The calmest you ever were was around Kaworu, and that was barely. How could you be the one who calmed him down?

It seemed he didn’t need an answer, since he turned to face forward after staring at you for a while.

If anything… what he asked seemed more like… a confession than a question.

You weren’t given the chance for the weight of that to hit you, thankfully..?

_BANG BANG BANG!_

There was a “knock” on the door.

You were still frozen, so Kaworu stood up to answer the door.

The second it opened even a crack, it swung open.

 “Uh… Hello.” Kaworu said, slowly.

You leaned forward to see around Kaworu’s back.

Standing in the doorway was, at first glance, a redheaded woman, and upon your double-take, Misato, your former neighbor.

The redhead pushed past Kaworu, and made a beeline for you, and it was only then that you recognized her.

“A-Asuka?!” You choke out in surprise.

*

A list of things you had forgotten:

1- The fact that Asuka, the friend you’ve had for nearly your entire life, had decided she was going to visit you that week.

2- The fact that Asuka, the single most stubborn and determined person you have ever met, would not be deterred by anything.

3- The fact that you, Shinji Ikari, had not called her to tell her that, _hey, maybe we should reschedule, because I got kicked out of my apartment._

But, as much as you were surprised by her sudden arrival, you could only imagine what Kaworu was thinking. You know, considering that some lady he’d never met in his life had just barged into his home looking like the angriest thing on two legs.

You had ended up in the center of 3 different conversations at once. Asuka, demanding that you explain why you didn’t tell her about this, Misato, clumsily trying to explain the situation to you, Kaworu, groggily wondering what was going on in general.

You weren’t sure how things managed to get sorted out, but somewhere along the way, you managed to say _something_ that stopped Asuka’s barrage of questions, and that gave your former neighbor the chance to explain.

“Asuka-chan woke me up with how loud she was knocking on your door-- er, old door, I mean-- and I explained to her what had happened.” She said, “And, well, I wasn’t about to let someone just drop in for a visit this early, not when I didn’t know for sure if they were telling the truth-- hey, hey, don’t be that way!” Misato crooned, when Asuka started protesting again. “And I wanted to check up on you anyway, Shin-chan!”

You dodged her attempt at pinching your cheek, flushing in embarrassment. “…Thank you?”

The impromptu reunion was cut short by Kaworu, who finally expressed his confusion with a single, eloquent, “Uh.”

“Ooooh, right, right,” You said quickly, and gestured to your visitors. “Kaworu-kun, this is Asuka and Misato-san.”

Misato waved cheerily, and Asuka just raised an eyebrow. “Well, aren’t you gonna introduce us to him?”

“Er, Misato-san, you should… _technically_ know him, but…” You stepped to the side, ‘displaying’ Kaworu. “This is Kaworu-kun.”

While the only change to Asuka’s face was a hint more confusion, Misato’s face absolutely lit up.

“So this is the great Kaworu-kun!” She vigorously shook his hand. “Shin-chan told me a lot about you when he was still living at NERV!”

He only stared at her, sleep still diluting his senses. “He… has?” He asked slowly.

“N-no, not really!” You turned your horrified gaze to Misato. “It was only one conversation!”

“Okay, can someone get me in the loop here?” Asuka interjected.

“Er, well, I think I mentioned to you in the phone call that I was taking piano lessons?”

She nodded.

“He’s my teacher… former?” You looked at Kaworu, who made a noise of agreement.

“Former piano teacher, current friend.”

Your cheeks heated up a little at that, but you turned back to Asuka. “Yeah.”

She digested the information, before tilting her head to the side. “So you moved in with your piano teacher… ” She glanced between the two of you, examining Kaworu particularly sharply. “That’s a little poorly planned, moving in with someone you just met, especially when you have people you’ve known longer,” she said, motioning to Misato and herself. “That’s a bit much, even for you.”

You rubbed the back of your neck. You’d reflected on that once or twice yourself, over the past week-- you hadn’t really been thinking when you accepted the very first offer. “Well, uh... I guess you could say I was desperate?”

She gave you a look that you couldn’t exactly decipher, but shook her head and laughed.

Kaworu cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. “You can sit down on the couch, if you want,” he said, before pausing and looking down at himself. “I’ll need to change. I’m still in my pajamas.” Then he left for his room.

Misato giggled and plopped onto the couch. “You picked a good guy, Shin-chan! Usually men don’t care to clean up when company’s around!”

You groaned in embarrassment. “I’ll just-- I’ll be in the kitchen. I’ll make some snacks.”

When you heard the conversation start up again, this time including Kaworu, you left the kitchen, sporting a bag of chips.

You walked in as he was apologizing for the mess, and set the chips on the table.

As it turned out, Kaworu was very good at conversation, even with people he hardly knew. The four of you got along well, and soon several hours had passed with just talking.

At one point, Asuka had stopped talking, and you didn’t notice until she tapped on your shoulder and asked if she could talk to you. “In private,” she added.

Somewhat hesitantly, you nodded. You hadn’t been very active in the conversation anyway, and had only really been half-listening to Misato telling Kaworu about one of her drunken adventures.

When she pulled you off into the hallway, and from what you could tell, her mood was serious. _Uh oh._

“I’m not really sure if I trust this Kaworu guy.” She said, looking you directly in the eye.

“Uh--” Your eyebrows creased. “Well, I guess I can understand that, but-- I trust him--!”

 “I mean, how do you know he’s not a serial killer or something? What if he forces himself into his piano student’s lives, waits until they show some kind of tension in their living situation-- then he’ll tell them ‘you can live with me!’ Then he kills you.” Asuka crossed her arms. “He’s a murderer, I can smell it.”

Maybe you were wrong about her being serious. “I…” You shook your head in confusion.  “I don’t think he’s a serial killer, Asuka.”

“Well, how would you know? You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met, Shinji.” She paused, a thought occurring to her. “And I’ve met Toji.”

“Low blow. That was a low blow.”

She laughed. “Okay, yeah, that was mean. But really, how do you know he’s not hiding dead bodies under all this clutter?”

You gave her a long-suffering look. “Seriously, Kaworu-kun is not a serial killer. Besides, wouldn’t he have made his move or whatever by now if he was?”

“Maybe he’s waiting to get something else out it… Ah! I know, he _seduces_ people before he kills them.” She smirked. “What a pervert.”

You blush. “N-no, that’s not--” You cut yourself of when you remember what happened at the party, and your blush deepens.

Asuka examined you, before her jaw dropped into an exaggerated ‘O’. “Ooooh my god. Has he actually done something? Did you two ‘do it’?”

You yelp, and your entire face turns redder than her hair. “N-no-- we haven’t-- oh my g-- we didn’t, holy _shit_ , Asuka.” Someone could fry an egg on your face. “…Not that f-far, at least,” you mumble so quietly that _you_ didn’t even hear yourself.

Somehow, _somehow,_ Asuka hears you. (Demon ears? Was she a demon? Probably a demon.) She choked.  After sputtering and coughing for a second, she stares at you. “Holy _fuck,_ Shinji. What. Happened?” 

You quivered under her intense stare. “I-it was just a kiss and he was drunk and I don’t think he even remembers because he never even brought it up--”

She laughed. “O-ooooh my god, Shinji, just. Wow.” She shook her head, still laughing. “Now this is gossip. Did you enjoy it, though?” She was curios, through the mirth, it seemed.

You buried your face in your hands, letting out an embarrassed squeak.

Asuka burst out laughing again. “You don’t have to answer that. Oh my god, you look like a tomato.”

“Sh-shut up,” You were still stumbling over your words.

Asuka put her hands on her hips and let out a long sigh. “Okay, but in all seriousness,” She smiled at you in a genuine, non - ‘I’m-about-to-say-something-really-mean-but-be-joking-so-you-can’t-call-me-out-on-being-mean’ way. “I’m just a little worried.”

You blinked at her, shocked. “W-what? You? _Worried_?”

Her face turned deadpan. “Yeah, yeah, I know it’s not like me-- shut up!”  She punched you on the arm in response to the giggles bubbling out.

She glared at you until your laughter subsided. “Okay, will you let me finish now?” You nodded.  “I’m worried. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I thought we agreed he wasn’t a serial killer?”

Asuka shook her head. “I don’t mean it that way, dumbass. I mean like, _emotionally._ ”

“…What?”

“I heard from Misato that you’ve only known him for like, what, a month or two at this point? And you’re _living_ with him?” She raised her eyebrows. “Do you even know him, Shinji?”

You crossed your arms. “Of course I know him! He’s a good person-- he wouldn’t hurtme.” You looked away, staring resolutely at the wall. _It was impossible._

“No, no-- Look at me,” She said, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at her. She had that look on her face, the serious, angry one that meant someone was about to be knocked out if they didn’t listen to her. “Do you know him? _Really?_ ”

“ _Yes._ ”

Asuka crossed her arms, her frown deepening.  “How much do you know him? Tell me.”

You stared at her, disbelieving. “ _What_?”

“Tell me exactly what you know about him!”

You sighed. You could not believe she was doing this. “Okay, fine, whatever.” You thought for a second. “Well, he has--”

Asuka shook her head. “Don’t _literally_ tell me, dummy. I meant, like, tell me an amount. What… percentage of Kaworu do you know?”

You look to the side in thought, and started counting off in your head, ticking them off on your fingers as well. _Nightmares, I know he has horrible nightmares._

_He likes to collect broken things, so he can eventually fix them. He’s seems really determined when it comes to this._

_His family is big, and nice, if a bit intrusive, but… Kaworu doesn’t seem to like them._ You frowned. You didn’t know _why_ he doesn’t like them.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you struggled to think of more things. _He’s amazing at piano? He’s terrible at cooking and cleaning? He has a lot of different hobbies?_

_…He’s a really good kisser?_

Asuka looked at you matter-of-factly when you froze with only three things counted out on your fingers.

Your hand fell to your side and you stared at the floor. “I… I guess I don’t’ know him as well as I thought.” You said dejectedly.

A hand gripped your shoulder. “Hey, look up.” You glanced up to see Asuka smiling at comfortingly. “I don’t mean you should ditch him or anything. Just… try and figure out who he is, okay? Before you act on whatever feelings you may have.”

 “I--I don’t…” You protested weakly.

She just gave you a look that said, _of course you do._

You sighed deeply. “Yeah, okay.”

She turned on her heel to go back into the living room, but stopped before joining the group again. “And remember, if things don’t turn out well, you can stay at my place. I’m sure Misato would be more than willing, too.”

A voice called from the next room-- it was Misato. Speak of the devil. “Hey, if you two are done in there, we’re putting in a movie!”

Asuka shot you one last warm smile, before jogging into the living room.

By the time the movie was finished, it was too late for Asuka and Misato to stay any longer, so they bid you and Kaworu goodbye, and left for their respective homes.

As she walked out the door, Asuka called to you to “remember what I said!”

“What was that about?” Kaworu asked, once the door was shut.

You jumped and blushed. _There is no way in Hell that I’m going to tell him what we talked about._ “Er, well, she-- she was reminding me about… the conversation… we had…. before the movie.” You trailed off.

He stared at you curiously for a moment, before shrugging. “Alright.” He then glanced at a clock. “Ah, it’s getting late, we should go to bed. Goodnight.”

You nodded, and headed off to your respective rooms. Before Kaworu went into his room, however, you stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Uh, sweet dreams!”

He blinked at you for a moment before he smiled brightly, and chuckled. “I certainly hope so. Sweet dreams to you too, Shinji-kun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAAAAYYYY


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short fmllllllllllll
> 
> ive had writers block and busy schedules the past few........ weeks....... also ive been sick dont yell at me pleeza

Your heart felt like it was about to leap out of your throat when you knocked at the door. You couldn’t stop your brain from firing off the limitless negative outcomes of what awaited you behind the painted wood.

What if she didn’t recognize you? What if she didn’t believe you were his friend? What if she thought it was weird and gross and disapproved? What if she--

She answered the door.

You jumped, standing up straighter and letting out a chocked series of noises that were _supposed_ to be words. Words you had carefully rehearsed on the way here and were now destroying with your stutter.

She raised an eyebrow.        

“U-uhm, okay, hi, I’m sorry for the intrusion but--” you ran out of breath after ‘intrusion’ and had to gasp in air like a dying fish in the middle of ‘but’-- “I--I’m Shinji Ikari and I’m K--!”

“Nagisa’s friend.” She said deliberately, cutting off your floundering.

“I… yeah. That.”

You’d hardly interacted with her before moving in with Kaworu-- nothing more than short, impersonal exchanges for your piano lessons. You’d entirely forgotten about the odd cashier of the music store until Kaworu brought her up.

You had been taking Asuka’s advice and trying to get to know him better and you ended up on the subject of friends. As it turned out, Kaworu’s only close friend besides you was one Rei Ayanami.

You had then had the (probably unwise) idea to talk to her. What about? You were hardly even sure anymore-- there were so many things you wanted to know that she could possibly help with that they were blurring together, and disappearing as you questioned the decision to even do this in the first place.

Rei tilted her head to the side, quietly examining you. You fidgeted under her stare.

When she seemed satisfied, she stepped to the side, gesturing inside her house.

“Thank you..?” You said.

She didn’t reply, and simply led you to a pair of couches, and sat down. You sat down on the couch opposite her, and waited.

You both stared at each other before you realized she was waiting for you to say something.

Before you could figure out how to explain yourself, she sighed. “…Are you here for a reason?”

“Er…” You paused, struggling to articulate what you yourself couldn’t explain. “Yes, I-- I wanted to talk to you…”

“About…?” Rei said.

You had trouble answering that yourself. “Uh….” You tapped your fingers together and avoided her gaze. “A-about Kaworu-kun… um.”

She sat a little straighter, her interest piqued.

It occurred to you that Rei probably had a role in Kaworu’s life very similar to Asuka’s concerning you, meaning that she could very well be just as protective of him as Asuka was of you.

 (Although maybe in a different way, since you couldn’t see someone as calm as Rei acting at all like Asuka did.)

You continued with your staring contest until, for a second time, you realized she was waiting on you to make the first move. “Ah, that is… I’m not sure how to explain what I mean, but…”

“Did something happen between the two of you?” She almost seemed accusatory.

You winced. “N-not really! Everything’s been going fine… I’ve just been… thinking.”

“…Could you elaborate on that, please?”

“Ah. Yeah…” You frowned at your lap, sucked in a deep breath, and blurted out, “IkindalikeKaworumaybealittletoomuchIguess?”

She looked at you, unimpressed. “Too much for what?”

This felt too much like talking to a therapist for your comfort. “F-friendship. For friendship.”

“Friendship and romantic relationships are not on the same spectrum.”

“O-oh.”

Rei gave you another once-over and cut right to the point. “So you have a crush on Nagisa?”

You made an embarrassing squeak and blushed. “W-well, I mean, no?? I-- I don’t know?”

She sighed. “You just said that you like him.”

“Uh--”

“Do you like him _that way_?”

“I…” You thought over Asuka’s words, and all the weird times you had this fluttery-warm feeling in your chest. “He’s a guy, though.”

Rei gave you a really long, hard stare, sighed the most aggravated sound you’d heard since Asuka, and buried her face in her hands. “ _Oh my god,_ ” She groaned, her voice muffled.

“…Uh- Ayanami-san..?” You asked hesitantly, after a long, awkward silence.

Her head snapped up. “…Did you honestly just say ‘he’s a guy’? _Really?_ ”

Cautiously, you nodded, unsure of what answer she wanted.

“Shinji Ikari,” she stood up, marched over to your couch, and grabbed you by the shoulders. “You are gay.”

“B-but I like girls!”

She rolled her eyes. “Then you’re bi.”

Rei looked you in the eyes with her piercing stare for a _really_ long time, before you mumbled out, “okay.”

She returned to her seat, a pleased look on her face. “Now, tell me more about your crush on my friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rei has no time for your no homo bullshit, shinji-kun


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI THIS FIC ISNT DEAD I SWEAR,,,
> 
> embarrasingly short chapter bc,,,,, its all i have written,,,,,, and i cant think of what else to write right now,,,,,,,,,,, soRry

‘ _Maybe things are looking up,_ ’ you thought, as you slid through the door, quickly clipping it shut to keep the muggy heat out.

It was the hottest day of the year, and you had just come back from a job interview-- your last one, it seemed.

Honestly, you could hardly believe it yourself. You'd never had a job before, and now you had your first! You hardly even had any qualifications, but they still hired you.

You were bouncing on the balls of your feet as you took off your shoes. Maybe it was too much to hope that you could get your apartment back with just this one small job, but it was still a hope for the future-- something you desperately needed.

You half-danced into the house, and tried to remember Kaworu's schedule-- did he have lesson today? Would he even be home right now?

You couldn't for the life of you remember-- you had been dead tired when you woke up at 6 for a 7:30 interview and _maybe_ you might've tuned out his explanation in favor of staring at his bedhead (which you still found unreasonably adorable.)

As you entered deeper into the house, the truth of this mystery was revealed in the form of Kaworu, passed out on the living room couch.

Right, he still had trouble sleeping. You'd woken him up early, too. You felt a little guilty.

You sat down on the only available seat-- the coffee table. And you maybe stared at him a while.

Uselessly, you recalled Ayanami telling you to stop half-denying it and just face the fact that you liked him.

‘ _Okay, so I do have a big bi crush on him,’_ you think to yourself, as Kaworu's chest rose and fell with every gentle breath.

Then you realized that you were literally watching him sleep, and blushed in embarrassment. Wow, creepy. You shuddered.

You finally remembered what you wanted to tell him, and nudged him awake.

...

And nudged him again.

Kaworu breathed out softly, and shifted as sleep slowly let him out of its grip. Bleary eyes opened, revealing the dark, but brilliant red that still surprised you sometimes. He stared into space for a moment, before focusing on you.

"...Hmm..?"

"E-er, I, um." You blushed, but whether it was from nervous excitement or his face, you weren’t sure. (Maybe it was both.)

He watched you intently, or as intently someone who was still half asleep could. You blushed even more. ‘ _Okay, maybe it was more 'his face' than 'nervous excitement'._ ’

While you struggled to say the good news, Kaworu reached over, loosing wrapping his hand around yours in a show of support, probably to get you to finally spit it out so he could get back to sleep.

At this point, you’d transformed into a tomato. "I--I got a job..!" You finally blurted out.

He blinked, processing what you said. Then, his eyes brightened, and he sat up, grabbing your other hand, and squeezing them with his own. "Ah, shinji-kun, that’s..!”

Kaworu stood up, grinning widely, and still holding your hands. If you could have gotten any redder, you would have-- you were standing together like you were at the altar!

‘ _Not that I particularly mind th- Wow, okay--‘_ , you stopped yourself before that train of thought could go any further. You were not marrying Kaworu. ‘ _Not yet,_ ’ your traitorous mind supplied, and you wanted to slap yourself.

Snapping you out of your argument with yourself, the subject of your internal battle bounced on his heels. "That’s great! Congratulations!" He was still oblivious to the marital likeness of your position.

"T-thank you," You stuttered. "…...I should be able to move out soon... Maybe." You laughed nervously, wishing your hands weren’t trapped, so you could scratch the back of your neck.

Kaworu's face flashed for a second. "A-ah, that’s... That’s great!! ...Good... Um!" He chuckled, sounding almost-strained.

You both stared at each other, feeling uncomfortable.

Then, he noticed he was still holding your hands, and quickly retracted them, shoving them into his pockets.

You could you heard him mutter a 'sorry'.

 

*

 

"...You’re asking me for _relationship advice_?" she asked incredulously.

"...Yes..?"

Asuka stared at you, long and hard. "…You do realize I hardly know the guy, right?" She crossed her arms. "I’ve talked to him _literally_ one time."

Frowning, you mimicked her pose. "...Well, I don’t really have anyone else to go to."

"Didn’t you say something about… I don’t know, what’s 'er name… Rei or something? You could ask her."

You shifted in your seat, uncomfortable. "That’s... Um. I dunno, it’s awkward."

Asuka blinked. "...Ooooh, right, she helped you figure out you were bi." She got an evil smirk all the sudden, and you groaned in anticipation. “I thought you had figured that out when you kissed Kensuke, though."

"T-that was a game of truth or dare and you know it!"

Asuka cackled at you. "Sure as hell looked like you were both enjoying it, though."

You buried your face in your hands, beyond mortified.  All you could do was make a few weak protests that sounded more like groans than words. She just kept giggling.

"Haha, okay, okay, I’ll stop," She finally said, laugher subsiding. "So, anyway, what’s the problem? From what I could tell, you both seemed pretty infatuated with each other."

You looked up, blushing slightly, and shrugged. "Er, well, I don’t know about Kaworu-kun, but if he... If he _does_ like me-- he-- I don’t know, is maybe too nervous to... Make a move? I guess?" You shrugged helplessly.

Asuka raised an eyebrow, and was silent for a moment. "You’re saying, then, that you don’t think that he'll make the first move?"

You nodded.

"So you need my help to woo him, since it won’t go any further otherwise?"

Another nod.

She hummed, thinking over your problem. "...Didn't you say he likes music? You could--"

"Oh my god, no. I am not _serenading_ him. You remember what happened last time I tried to sing."

She snorted. "Yeah, my ears are still ringing. But that wasn't what I was going to suggest."

Your eyebrows creased. "...What, then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kensugay


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okkkk sorry for taking. forever to update this fic rip me
> 
> this is the last chapter!! somehow! i didnt really know what to put inbetween the previous chapter and the end so i just made there be none Lmao  
> but thank you, all the people who read this, thanks so much

 “Kaworu… uh, can I talk to you..?” You asked voice quiet with nervous embarrassment.

Asuka’s suggestion had sounded good at the time, but now that you had had the time to think about it, it involved far too much rose petals and cologne and piano performances that you definitely couldn’t pull off. _Way too_ much cologne.

Kaworu looked at you in surprise, his tired eyes widening. Then, he sighed. “Is it really urgent, or..?”

You blinked in surprise. He looked exhausted.

It wasn’t really urgent but… you got the feeling that if you put it off until later, that you never would say it. Taking a deep breath to steel yourself, you said, “Yeah, I… guess it kinda is.”

He raised a single eyebrow slightly, and waited.

You cleared your throat. “Well… w--” Coughing nervously, you frowned. _I probably should have thought this through before doing this._ “…er… t-that is to say…” You were blushing now.

Kaworu stared at you, silent, as you fumbled for the right words.

Eventually, he stopped your mumbling. “Shinji-kun.” He said, softly.

“Shinji-kun,” he repeated, looking you straight in the eyes when you couldn’t even keep yours still. “Is this really urgent? Because, if not… I’d really prefer to sleep, and deal with it in the morning.”

There almost seemed to be a flicker of fear in his scarlet eyes, but that thought was washed away in what felt like a bucket of cold water being dumped on your head. Your shoulders sagged.

Even though it wasn’t certain and _definitely_ not direct, it still felt like… rejection.

“Ah, well… I mean, I suppose not, but… b-but I’d still really like to talk about it now.”

Why did you ever think that this would work?

“…I’ve had a long day at work. I’m tired. Can this wait?”

How did you even delude yourself into thinking he likedyou like that?

“I just…” You hands curling into themselves, nails digging into your palms.

Of course, he didn’t… _doesn’t…_

“Did…” Kaworu began, hesitating.

_He never will._

“Did something happen..?”

You shook your head, suddenly feeling very cold. “No, I… I need to…”

_Why should I tell him if it’ll just ruin this?_

You shook your head again. “Ne-never mind… It’s nothing…”

Kaworu tilted his head to the side in confusion as you walked towards your bedroom, but something stopped you, and you looked back.

There was an upward tilt in his eyebrows, a… hint of concern alongside his uncertainty, and you froze.

Even if… if he’d never feel the same way as you, he still…

He stilled cared for you.

His eyebrows rose when you turned to look at him. There were bags under his eyes, and his skin seemed paler than usual.

“Um, are you... okay?” You asked, slowly.

He glanced to the sides of him, as if there were other people in the room that you could have been referring too.  “Uh… Yeah..?” He nodded. “Yes, of course.”

You stared hard at him for a long, tense, moment, and shook your head. “That’s… a lie, isn’t it?”

Kaworu opened his mouth as if to protest, but you cut him off.

“Is it nightmares?”

“Shinj--”

“Please… don’t give me that ‘I’m fine’ act, it’s…” You shook your head again. “I don’t w--“

“Shinji-kun, it’s fine.” He interrupted you this time. “You have a lot of stuff on your plate right now, right?”

“Uh. Yeah, a little bit, I guess…”

He smiled, just the barest twitch of his lips. “Then it really is fine. The nightmares aren’t anything I haven’t dealt with before… and… it isn’t really the nightmares that are bothering me.”

You looked at him in quiet surprise, for a moment. “…It’s something else then?”

Kaworu frowned, and averted his eyes.

“What is it?”

“… I’d rather not talk about it.”

“But…”

He shifted from foot to foot before his eyes widened as he seemed to get an idea. “Ah, but what was it you wanted to tell me?” He turned to face you.

You stared at him in confusion.

“Before.”

Your staring continued.

Kaworu chuckled. “When you started this conversation. You said it was something urgent?”

You made a pathetic squeak of surprise, and then really wanted to punch yourself in the face when you felt your cheeks heat up.

He raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“Well, that-- that, um. I--” You started to sweat, and you could practically hear Asuka snapping at you to ‘just spit it out!’

And you could practically feel her slap you upside the head, too.

Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself for something you would probably never be ready for, so, hey, if you were going to be a nervous wreck anyway, might as well finish what you started.

(You really hated your 10-minutes-past self for starting it.)

“Okay,” you puffed out, before staying silent for another minute. “Okay, uh…” and then you were quiet for a few more seconds, just for good measure.

“Ugh, alright,” squeezing your eyes shut, you slapped gently on the face.

Now that his face wasn’t actually in your field of vision, you thought you might be able to do it.

“Shinji-kun, are you--”

“Okay, I _really like-you-and-I-mean-that-in-a-romantic-way-and--_ and, basically, I-- I really.” You opened your eyes, kinda regretting it because now you could see his shocked face, eyes blown wide, but you were too deep, now. “I… kinda l-love you, I guess?” You winced at how unsure your own voice sounded.

Yeah, that didn’t go at all how you planned it.

After probably the most antagonizing silence you’ve ever lived through in your entire life, Kaworu finally opened his mouth to say something.

“Oh.”

At this point, you’d lost count of the times you had wanted to get punched in the face, either by yourself and/or Asuka, who was really good at punching people. But, if anyone was keeping track, they could count another.

You couldn’t really bring yourself to look at Kaworu’s face, since you were pretty sure you just smashed the friendship you had into a million faces, so you just coughed to try and make it less awkward.

That made it more awkward, you think.

Another tense moment passed. _Well, that’s my cue. Time to run away now._

“I’m... gonna go to bed.” You turned towards your bedroom door. “Goodnight. Sorry.”

Just as you were closing the door, Kaworu spoke again. “W-wait!”

You nearly jumped out of your skin, having thought he went mute from the shock, or something.

Worriedly, you turned towards him.

He bit his lip, looking like he wanted in on that getting-punched-in-the-face thing.

“I-- actually, um.”

It would be funny, seeing Kaworu looking nervous, if it weren’t so unnatural for him that you were scared.

He was silent, for a long, tense second, trying to get his thoughts in order. “I… feel the same way..?”

He sounded about as confused as you felt.

Wait. So, you hadn’t been wrong, and he didn’t hate you? You did a double, no, triple-take.  _He liked you back?_

You fainted. You would deny it, later, when Asuka found out, and even later, when Rei did.

Hitting the ground felt like the punch you’d been wanting, though.

*

Shinji was moving out, and you never thought you’d be okay with that.

You were glad, actually. Not about him leaving, or about no longer being able to see him every morning, but that he wasn’t having so much trouble financially. He could afford to live on his own, and that made you happy.

He wasn’t really leaving, after all. He just wasn’t living with you, anymore. Shinji had promised that they’d see each other soon, anyway. He’d said, ‘after all, we’re…’

Then he had trailed off and made a vague hand gesture, but that made sense. You’d only just found out you both liked each other, and after Shinji had woken up from his accidental nap, you’d talked it over.

You guess that meant you were dating? Strange. But you were happy. You got giddy and bounced on the balls of your feet when you remembered.

Rei gave you a surprised look, when you waltzed into work at the music store, probably grinning like a maniac.

Before you could enter your room for lessons, though, she called out to you. “...What with the face?”

You laughed, and grinned a little wider. She raised an eyebrow.

“Shinji-kun and I are…!” You made the same vague hand gesture he had.

Rei watched your hands, trying to make sense of what, exactly, you meant, but then smiled in that barely-visible way she did. “Oh, then he actually went through with it..?”

You opened your mouth to reply, when you heard the door open, and saw your friend’s eyes widen. Quietly, she muttered, “speak of the devil.”

You turned around. Shinji was in the doorway. At this point you had been grinning so hard that your face ached, but it stretched wider still.

He walked towards the counter, smiling back at you and blushing.

Rei cut in before any conversation could start. “…I’m going to stop you right here before any PDA can happen. Are you here for a lesson, Ikari-kun?”

He jumped, like he had forgotten he was in a public place with other people. “O-oh, yeah, actually, um…” Shinji turned to look at you again. “Do you still have a time block open..?”

“Of course. 4:30?”

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um. i really dont know what else to say at the end of this,,, so bye!

**Author's Note:**

> hopefully i can keep up with posting this fic [crosses fingers]


End file.
